Zoe has a towel on her head

Hello fellow bloggers,
Im back, the internet is mine again. i will now attempt to re-takeover the world.
Towels on the head, i dont get it. Girls spend thousands on make up to make themselves more beautiful, they spend their whole lives moaning about the way they look then.... they stick a towel on their head and look like idiots, like i said i dont get it. This summer i got engaged, i realised the time was right when i was still attracted to Jemma (my fiance) with a towel on her head. For those of you wondering who Zoe is, there's nothing in it so dont even contact the papers!!

Hyenas without a sense of humour.

All day i've been revising like a monkey without an itchy bum, which got me thinking. What if Hyenas didnt laugh? Giraffes didnt have long necks? and david beckham didnt have feet? Surely the world would collapse into a frenzy of screaming men and women all wondering why life was worth living. I tell you what, it would make evangelism a lot easier, therefore i propose we remove the voice boxes from hyenas, take a section out of giraffe necks and surgically remove davids feet. I have had a horrible day revising and im annoyed. Something had to take the backlash and unfortunately these three have it. So there you go, im not actually a crazy animal mutilating psycho, ive just had a bad day!!!!

I'm a little hamster!

Animals seem to bring people together in a way that i'll never understand, that is why i have decided to become a hamster for a week. It always amazes me how the dogs in 101 dalmations forced those two people together, then i realised i was looking at it from the wrong perspective. As humans we look at that and say, isn't it cute how the dogs brought those two people together when actually the dogs didnt care about their owners they just wanted to get it on with each other!! I find that so selfish, i mean you wouldnt try and snog someone if there were two other people between you, in the hope that they also liked each other, that would just be weird, and yet dogs can do it. There's something wrong with that and im gonna try and change it.

Now, back to chickens

Well having just read the comments for Down with Communism i think i shud carry on Tristan's idea. I think I'll focus on the chicken and egg debate, my belief is that God created the chicken first but it was in the egg already, so actually the chicken laid the egg before it was born, mmm that really doesnt make sense, but then if God made women so they are impossible to understand how are we meant to understand this stuff( i am expecting lots of controversy on that subject)! of course i am right and that kills the debate, because they were therefore created at the same time. although an interesting idea coming from research scientist in europe suggests that all humans share 99% the same DNA with chickens, except me, and anyone who posts a comment is also immune!

By popular demand!!

Well ive been told to update my blog so here it is....

Down with Communism

Well, now I've actually found my blog maybe I could add something serious......nah.
Two lovers discover the earth has been invaded by alien monsters in the form of giant seed pods which drain humans of all emotions and take over their bodies, turning them into killer robots. The fact I just wrote that in my last essay this year for uni. tells me one thing, run for your lives!!!!!!. I have been diagnosed with invasiophobia! which is a fear of the earth being taken over by beings of a higher intelligence and/or chickens. Interesting? it doesnt stop there it stops here....

The chickens are restless

For my first blog i would like to expound the virtues of unbelievable rubbish. It seems to me that the only way we are going to hold on to the truth is to look at the lies that encompas our very exsistance. I cannot believe that the world will hold together if we dont take into account the fact that the chickens are restless. They are waiting in the wings to take over, beware, have you people not seen chicken run?? the sceeming nature of the chickens is captured brilliantly by the under cover detectives who made this film. The realism of the film is testerment to their lives considering one of the film makers was killed in the process of extracting the film from the farm. We must be vigilant otherwise the truth will catch us by surprise, and we will find ourselves under the oppressive regime that would surely be an egg free world. Thank you for yor attention and do not worry, i am actually talking rubbish.